Spring Clean Your Family Relationships

This year my last-to-launch 17 yr. old son is taking charge of spring cleaning his own room. Being rather OCD on the whole spring clean thing, over the years I’ve had a list breaking down every aspect of room cleaning for my kids. We’ve made it fun and spread it out. They enjoyed it (or gave me that impression!) Not this year. My son doesn’t know where to start. He’s overwhelmed. It’s been a killer on me! How many times have I reached for the duct tape so as not to say what I’m thinking? After some coaching as to where to start and 3 weeks later, only the closet is done. Everything in me wants to march in there and just do it. It would take a 5th the emotional anguish and a 10th the physical time. But that’s not my goal.

I realized one day as I walked by his door, trying hard not to look in, yet catching a glimpse of already-messed-up closet and nothing done on the rest of the room: This is how it can be in family relationships – we want to “do it” (fix, get rid of, try to change) for the others. In reality, we’re responsible for ourselves and need to look at how we can parent from a place of calm rather than clutter.
What can be done in family relationships to add renewal and get rid of the dust bunnies? [Read more…]

8 Tips to Spring Clean Your Marriage

Are you a spring cleaner? You may be living in an area of the world that doesn’t have ‘spring’, yet find yourself going through the physical motions of cleaning closets (or wardrobes, depending on where you live), cupboards, dressers and drawers. Spring clean is synonymous with ‘deep clean’ and many of us grew up with this tradition. Whether joy or drudgery, it’s now a practise. Now that I’m almost through spring cleaning this year (I do it a little at a time), I feel energized.
Spring cleaning isn’t just for the house. As a time of renewal, growth and possibilities, it’s the perfect season to assess your marriage relationship and bring in some fresh energy. [Read more…]

6 Stages of Attachment – Unbreakable Connection with Your Kids

I’m nostalgic these days, reviewing the journey of parenting so far. There’s space now that 3 are launched and have landed so well. One to go! I remember when my children were tiny – I was full of love and delight, watching their every move and new discovery. As they grew a little older, they watched me, eyes full of admiration. In grade school, they came to me with their problems and we worked things out. Sometimes messy. I tried and failed and learnt along the way. Yet it seemed I could do no wrong in their eyes. Fast forward to the teen years and how things changed. They looked at me like I was an alien and I saw “you are kidding, right?” – at times disgust and disappointment darted from their eyes. They played the teen tug-of-war – wanting connection, wanting independence. And eventually it has come back full circle. Living fulfilled and contributing lives, they take initiative to contact their dad and I. They set coffee dates with us. We enjoy family togetherness whenever possible. We also reach out to them. There’s mutual respect and encouragement. My heart is full of wonder and joy! It’s what I had imagined – independent, yet interconnected with love. Full circle… full connection. [Read more…]