Spring Clean Your Family Relationships

This year my last-to-launch 17 yr. old son is taking charge of spring cleaning his own room. Being rather OCD on the whole spring clean thing, over the years I’ve had a list breaking down every aspect of room cleaning for my kids. We’ve made it fun and spread it out. They enjoyed it (or gave me that impression!) Not this year. My son doesn’t know where to start. He’s overwhelmed. It’s been a killer on me! How many times have I reached for the duct tape so as not to say what I’m thinking? After some coaching as to where to start and 3 weeks later, only the closet is done. Everything in me wants to march in there and just do it. It would take a 5th the emotional anguish and a 10th the physical time. But that’s not my goal.

I realized one day as I walked by his door, trying hard not to look in, yet catching a glimpse of already-messed-up closet and nothing done on the rest of the room: This is how it can be in family relationships – we want to “do it” (fix, get rid of, try to change) for the others. In reality, we’re responsible for ourselves and need to look at how we can parent from a place of calm rather than clutter.
What can be done in family relationships to add renewal and get rid of the dust bunnies? [Read more…]

Expatriate Life Coaching

Greg* and Terry* anticipated their international assignment. Both desired to live cross culturally, wanting their children to be globally minded. Once in Singapore, life began to unravel. Greg, immersed in work, was expected to sustain a high level of business performance and develop complex business relationships. Terry had chosen to put her career on hold to ‘make things work’. The kids began school – different routine, a collage of peers and cultures, different academic levels (you know the deal). They longed for friends and family. They missed the familiar. Terry especially missed a sense of fulfillment and contribution. Greg wasn’t around much; when he was, he didn’t like to see her sad or hear her frustrations. Home life became conflicted. They didn’t feel like they ‘fit’ the expatriate community, though they tried to connect with others. Terry wanted to take charge of life, process her feelings, and move into the rich, exciting life she dreamed of. Coaching was their answer.  [Read more…]