Becky’s Story

HOW DID YOU GET TO BE DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING?

Sepia colored photo of Becky and her brother

“at British boarding school in Malaysia with my brother”…

I’m a Third Culture Kid – born and raised in Malaysia, Hong Kong and Canada. Growing up I experienced boarding, international and Canadian public schools. Life was consistently changing. This was my normal. I played with kids of different nationalities and could speak Cantonese like a Chinese person. I poured myself into achieving at school and playing basketball (though I really wanted to be a cheerleader)!

My parents did the best they could in helping us adapt. They’d say “you’ll make new friends”, “don’t be sad”. They possessed a “get-on-with-life” mentality so I learnt to bury my feelings. Much about my growing up years was great – living in different cultures; understanding others and traveling. There were aspects of life that were challenging – seeing poverty and people treated unfairly; befriending and then saying ‘bye’; feeling tension in our family during transition. Age 16, at the Hong Kong International Airport, I said goodbye to my friends (once more) and thought “there’s got to be a way to make this easier. I’m going to figure it out and help others“- a destiny moment though I didn’t know it at the time!

My family repatriated back to Canada in my grade 11 year. I was lost, alone and didn’t feel like I fit. A chameleon is what I became, adepcolored picture of Becky and her husbandt at changing multiple colours to match those around me…or what I thought they wanted or needed from me. This seemed to work well. I spent wonderful years working as an intensive care nurse and met, then married my love for life.

Part of me wanted to stay in Canada, raise a family and enjoy a rooted lifestyle. Yet there was restlessness inside…and a calling greater than the longing for rootedness. We traveled with our family of two children to Indonesia and I was so excited to be ‘home’ in Asia! That excitement quickly faded – being a mother overseas was different than being a kid! My expectations weren’t often realistic. The next years were ones of deep transformation through many transition processes – losses leading to new discovery and opportunity. Grief not processed as a teen came back to haunt me. I learnt to let go of the past and some of its wounds, and embrace life in the present. My husband and I chose to face life with hope, commitment and courage. We added two more children, one an international adoption, and lived and worked in Cambodia, eastern Canada, western Canada and Kuwait over the next couple of decades. I embraced life as an expatriate, involved in my children’s international schools; giving to the local and expatriate community; and working in several different careers. Each time a major transition came along, I cringed, knowing it would be rough for me, and yet each time gaining tools and tenacity to process and see change in myself through it.

picture of Becky and her children As an expat mom, I longed to find practical solutions to help my children go through the losses and challenges they were experiencing. I was far from perfect, yet intentionally creative, often trying out different ideas. In helping them, I found healing by helping myself. It was a process of reconstruction – like putting the pieces of a puzzle together – slowly, painstakingly – and then standing amazed at the beautiful picture in front of me. This is the gift I am passionate to bring to other global nomads. I long to see individuals, couples and families live out their destiny in the places of their calling and vocation.

Our life was a balanced combination of challenges and victories, stressors and successes. Until, that is, we moved to Kuwait. After 5 months, we realized something was seriously wrong. More than just adjustment stress happened to one of our family members. We couldn’t find the resources needed to sustain well-being, so made the agonizing decision to return to Canada. Our son was diagnosed with PTSD and for 2+ years, we were in and out of crisis as a family. Never had we experienced the agony of parenting a teenager in such deep pain from trauma. It rocked every aspect of our family and marriage relationship. We felt pulled, twisted, torn and punched. My husband went through a period of depression during the same time. Despair. At times it felt like we were hanging on by a thread. We held onto each other and committed to walk (and sometimes fall and limp) with mindfulness, courage and faith. SomeOne held us. Others helped us. We look back and realize resiliency has been a part of our personal lives, marriage relationship and family!

Becky Matchullis sitting in a Muskoda chair by a lakeI live a life of loss, transition, challenge and stress and concurrently, one of adventure, fun, variety and freedom! There’s been sorrow and joy. Pain and empowerment. Fear and love. Despair and hope. What matters most – my family, other relationships, faith and transformation within – has been strengthened and deepened. It HAS been and IS an abundant life! One full of treasure hunting, finding and passing on what I learn. And that’s what I’m committed to – taking my personal experience and my professional background as a coach to help families live their most purposeful life from a place of strength and love.

Over the past 10+ years, I’ve been helping individuals, couples and families to move through transition with peace and connectedness; to find their strength and push past fear and overwhelm, knowing they can handle whatever comes their way. Before our family crisis’ I had coached families through similar situations – yet never realized the feelings and processes a family goes through in deep crisis. It has added an empathy, richness and determination to give all I can so that my passion to see families thrive and live out their destiny in the places of their calling will be fulfilled.